Touch

One touch says it all. Cohen was playing soccer and got in "trouble" for playing with another little boy instead of playing soccer. I was ok with that but apparently the coach didn't like it. He had to come and sit next to me for a break. I didn't know Ron was taking this picture. He was behind us and took the picture of me holding Cohen's hand. This picture means a lot to me and I will tell you why.
I have SPD. Sensory Processing Disorder. I have a hard time with light touch. I worry often that I am scarring my children by constantly telling them not to touch me or removing their hand/foot off of me. I worry that when Cohen was falling asleep trying to run his fingers softly up and down my arm, I turned him away. When I am reading stories I panic when the kids are surrounding me and touching me. So this picture to me is a relief. I don't even notice how often we touch. I hug easily and kiss so that isn't a problem. It is the light touch. So thank you to my husband for giving me this gift.

Friends

Friends. Socialization. Blah Blah Blah.
This is the socialization that I love. Good friends. Positivity. Encouragement. Compassion.
This is a family of many who visit us often. I have honestly never heard a word of negativity come from one of these children. I am not saying it never happens but I have not witnessed it. When one of my children fall they rush to help them up. When a child is sad they are there and concerned. They have never called my children names or done anything with malicious intent.
They are a strong Christian, homeschooling family with strong morals. When my children play with them I know they look up to them and learn from them. I don't have to worry about what they will be exposed to and I like that.
I have decided recently that our kids will not be watching TV any longer. Yes, they will watch DVD's that we approve of or a kids channel early in the morning. Any other television will no longer be. No more commercials, no more previews and no more sexualization of everything.
I was watching Family Feud the other day and the question was...What would women like to know about their husbands ex-girlfriend? One answer was...Was she good in bed? First I thought, well that was inappropriate. My children should not be thinking about people being good in bed. I did not even consider the fact that they are getting the impression that it is normal for someone to have multiple partners. Isn't that terrible? And we wonder why there are so many pregnant teens with no morals! Why are we shocked? It is spit at them from every angle! TV, school, internet...etc.
Are we sheltering our children? Hell yes! Yes we are! Is that a bad thing? No, I don't believe it is.

Lets see how much I can write before Hadley fusses. That is what life is like with a newborn. Lets see how much I can eat before she needs to be held. Rush Rush Rush. It is to be expected.
I have to remember that. When I look at my house and I am just too tired to use the vacuum, dust or tidy up, it is ok. It is ok that the laundry is not all done. It is ok that my children have watched TV all morning. It is ok that dinner for Cohen last night was dry cheerios and peanut butter.
Hadley has been a fussy little baby the past couple of days. She doesn't want to be put down. This makes for a messy house and undone chores. OH WELL! Sure I say that on here but in my mind I am screaming for a break. I am screaming for a clean house and healthy meals. I am screaming for my boobs back. Ya I said it!
Now don't get me wrong. I love the cuddles, the soft skin and fluffy hair. I love the grunts, whimpers and new smiles. But that isn't what this post is about. It is about the expectations a mom puts on herself with a newborn. No matter how many times I tell myself that the THINGS are not important right now...I still feel like they are important.
BAH - crying baby. One day I will look back and think...why did I care about the stinkin house? Not today. lol

Miss Hadley arrives!

Meet Hadley Jude! She was born on May 24th at a whopping 10lbs. This "little" person is the reason why I haven't been posting as regularly. First the morning sickness, then the pain from carrying a 6th baby and now she is here. Need I explain why I wouldn't have time to post now? lol. Hadley is the last to grace our family. I feel so incredibly blessed to have our 6 children and our wonderful marriage.
Birth Story:
At 4am I called the midwife because I was having contractions 4-5 min apart but only 15 min in length. I know myself so called. She told me to hold off (snicker) and see what happens. It is early labour. A half hour later I called again and they were 1 min in length. She said to meet her at the hospital. We called my mom and she left with my dad to meet us there. My brother Kaille came to watch the kids. Half way there I yelled for Ron to call an ambulance because I felt pressure. We pulled over and I hopped in the ambulance. (I don't need to go into details about peeing on the side of the intersection or hugging the paramedic and biting Ron during a particularly strong contraction. (Snicker again) Horrible ride with bumps and me yelling at the male attendant to rub my back and hold my hand. I get there and I am 8-9cm dilated. At this point I am crying for an epidural. I know that I could have had her easily but I had such fear from Cohen's birth going natural that I wasn't allowing it to happen. I was laying on the bed and vocalizing through the contractions. They were right on top of each other for a while. Part of me thinks I should have just stood up and given birth but I didn't. I ended up with the epi (heaven) and I relaxed. The neat part about the birth is she birthed herself. I didn't have to push. She literally came out on her own. She would come out a bit...go back in a bit. Apparently it was pretty amazing to watch.
She is another easy baby. (Thank goodness) Of course she wakes through the night and doesn't always go back to sleep for a while but she is calm and content.
She fits so nicely into our family. You can tell we were made for each other!

Easter

This Easter morning I felt very grateful. I had 5 young children excitedly rushing out to see what the Easter Bunny brought. First they gather at the doorway so they can come out together. Usually this involves Ron getting his coffee and camera ready and the kids busting at the seams. They gather jelly beans leading from each of their beds on the floor. This is how they know the bunny came of course! You can see Reagan here gathering hers up. She is a little Ricky. She meticulously collects each and every one and sneaks them throughout the morning. The Easter Bunny brings things like cheese strings, juice boxes, raisins and yogurt drinks. Our children are very excited by this because they never get pre-packaged foods. They usually get a whole jar of applesauce that they then get in bowls. Cheese is cut. Raisins are bought in bulk. They also got some chocolate eggs in their baskets and searched the house for more.
I love holidays with them. It reminds me of how close we are. It is tradition. I love to look over at my husband and him look back at me and we smile. Memories. I don't look forward to the day that we all sleep in or when they are gone. I treasure these times and never want them to end.
We also watch the Easter Story about Jesus dying on the cross and what that means for us and all. We go to church and then head on over to grandma and grandpa's where they spoil them with chocolate and candy.
We are very lucky to have family and love.

We are switching computers tomorrow so pictures will be posted. Yay!

So I went to a homeschooling conference this past weekend. It felt good to get away and enjoy some me time. I went with some girlfriends and slept out. It was definitely refreshing!

I want to write a post about a seminar I attended while there. This isn't the time. It moved me so much that I feel completely changed. I am looking at life differently and looking at who is in my life differently. Before I went I was feeling worn out, annoyed and watching the time and waiting for bedtime. Sure I am pregnant and I was sick but it was more the negative feelings. Lets face it. Parenting is exhausting not only physically but emotionally. This speaker hit me to my core.
I may not post about the details at this time but I will send you to her blog and tell you the name of her book. You will not be disappointed.
The blog is aholyexperience.com and her book is called One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.
I sat there enthralled and crying. I was among many.

Now I am home and enjoying my children once again. Yes it is quite possible to enjoy our children when 33 wks pregnant. It is still possible to enjoy children when your body aches and all you want to do is close your eyes and not wake up for a week. It is still possible to enjoy children when you are weary and unsure. Just look at them. How could you not?

I am heading off to sleep now. I want to enjoy my children in the morning. :)

I love evenings like these

Evenings when Ron is home. When he is playful and fun. When we are gathered around the dinner table laughing and joking. When we have pie for dessert. When I get a nap. When we read together and enjoy each other. When we say prayers. When they are healthy and happy. I love evenings like these.

I am very anxious for Spring to arrive. We have a small house so when the kids need to burn some energy it can get loud in here. I feel bad constantly telling them Shhhh.

Today it was raining. Melting the snow away. I just can't wait to see the kids outside in the sun collecting bugs and flowers for their mom. Jumping in puddles and making mud pies. Screaming and running around the yard. Vitamin D.

I find that when I am either pregnant or during the Winter I feel guilty. Don't get me wrong, I love homeschooling and don't even a little bit want to send them to school. Not even a tiny bit on the worst days. I just feel bad because they are locked inside with a hormonal mom. haha
When they are outside on a sunny day all the guilt fades. I see my children in a new light. On any given day my children are happy and thriving. Which is amazing being inside for so long. They do get out but not nearly as much as spring, summer or fall. I NEVER hear the words, "I am bored." Never. To be honest, I am not sure why. I am not one to constantly having them do activities. I don't lay out art projects with details on how to do them. I very rarely bake and include them. Our days pretty much consist of them doing their own thing. Amelie is one to write stories, sew, make comics, make up experiments or inventions. Ricky and Cohen enjoy playing with each other. Make believe, playing with toys and just plain having fun. Reagan and Callum like to play but not so much with each other yet. Roo can be dominating. I have noticed recently that Cohen and Callum are playing together. It is nice to see.
The main thing that I need to work on as a parent is getting more involved with them at a playing level. I read a million books a day, I snuggle and I take care of them. What I don't do is play. I want to train myself to like it. I really do. It is hard to get involved when they are so independent. They don't approach me and ask what they can do. Now if I notice they are bothering each other I take the cue and set the box of legos out and let them build. An activity. I feel that I need to get on their level more. That is my biggest struggle.
I will be posting more pictures again soon. Ron has to clear the camera so I can snap away again.
Night all!