Life

So life happened.

I thought I would update about our family.  We are doing well.  I haven't felt like writing this past year.  Life happened.  It tends to do that whether we want it to or not.
Schooling wise we are moving along.  We are sort of using a Charlotte Mason approach which is working out well.  I am enjoying having some kind of structure to our day even if it is loose.
We read.  We teach.  We live.
Live.  Such an interesting word.  Live.
This is our year in a nutshell.  My dad is gone.  Just like that.  I know he is close to us because we got a message from someone but yeah...he's gone.  Everything in my life is clouded by this.  If he could just come back life would be light.  Carefree.  I'll never have that again.
My brother got married.
My grandpa Dom died.
We sold our house and moved to a new town.
I went to school to learn ASL at the college.  Got an A.
I don't know what this new year has in store for us but hopefully it will be better than the last.
I would like to start writing again and focusing on our children now.

Thinking

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately.  Nothing new.  I am a thinker.  A worrier.  A mom.

The weather is beautiful and this brings about Learning.  We got through the dreary winter of thinking my children are watching too much TV and how much damage I am inflicting upon my children.  Are they getting enough Vitamin D?  Enough fresh air?  Too much TV/technology, blah blah blah.  Then I see days like today with the leaves in full bloom and the mayflies everywhere.  The sun is shining and YES the kids are getting Vitamin D!  Imagine that.
I have been thinking a lot about schooling lately.  Unschooling vs. homeschooling vs. doing the basics. vs ..
You get the idea.  I strayed from unschooling for a while with my worry.  Are they missing some vital information?  Are we not structured enough?  I am stepping back again and reevaluating our way.  Isn't that what parenting is about?  Being willing to take a step back and decide if what we are doing is working?  The "too much" is not working.  They are dragging their feet and not enjoying the process.
We will do math when we can.  When we have time in our busy summer days.  We will do copywork when we can.  When we have time in our lazy spring days.  We will get to it and they will thrive.
Today the kids were in their PJ's until about 10:30am GASP.  I am quite positive that they will get dressed to go to work as an adult.  No worries there.  Unless they start their own businesses and work from home.  They cleaned up their sections of the house and off they went crafting, playing video games, drawing and learning about mayflies, creating our street out of cardboard and rolled papers for houses, playing outside, running, eating, living.
Cohen is quite interested in the poles of the Earth and how magnets play into all of that.  LKoiaheojkhe THAT is what I hear when he brings this topic up.  I need to find a good book that will explain thing further and then throw that book on Ron's lap and say Takeraway!  Reagan is coming into herself.  She is still my spunky, feisty little girl but has much more control.  I am proud of her and who she is becoming.  Callum is still our teddy bear who loves soccer and hockey.  Hadley has just turned 2 and is talking now.  Ricky and Amelie are turning into young ladies who I am very proud to be a mom to.  I really am.
I really am a very blessed mom.  Most days I feel so incredibly happy and lucky and then I have days like one day last wk when I put them to bed at 6:30pm because I couldn't take one.more.minute of being on.
So pictures will come soon and more of our explorations will follow.  Unless we are too busy with life ... wherever and whenever we feel like it.  Isn't that what unschooling is?

Well that top picture needs to be changed!
So we have a worker coming on Tuesday to start our adoption process.  This has been a long time coming.  We have to be moved into our bigger house of course but once that happens we want to be ready.  Of course, I have a lot of insecurities.  Not about adopting a child and it working out.  I actually have no worried about that.  Our family is not perfect.  We can be messy and our children hit each other from time to time.  I get frustrated and yell and so does Ron. I look at our children and I see that they are happy.  We really do have a wonderful life and I know that the child that we adopt will be lucky and loved.  He won't be perfect and we won't expect him to be.  We aren't either.  I worry more that the adoption place won't like us or won't understand our parenting views.  We co sleep.  We don't vaccinate. We homeschool.  We sometimes yell.  We don't have a tonne of money.  What will they think of us?  Hopefully they will look at our children and know how loved another child will be.  I hope they see their little faces and think that they are as lucky/cared for/loved as we know they are.  What if they don't like one of our answers?  What if they don't like that I have spanked before when upset and regretted it because I knew it was wrong?  What if I say "I'll throw you out the window" or the kids say it and they take it seriously?  What if...   I have to remember that if this is what is meant to happen, it will.  God will set this path in motion.
We went to see the other house today.  Guess what!  I went on a real estate site where they show houses for sale and it is taken down!  There is no For Sale sign on the front lawn.  This means that they are satisfied with our offer and are willing to wait.  I am not sure how long but this is good!  We took a family drive and sat and had homemade soup, coffee and cookies at a cute little bakery/cafe in the town where the house is. It was wonderful. Then we took a drive down to the harbor and got to see the fishing boats.  We really feel that this place is meant for us.  We just don't know when this will happen.  God will set this path in motion.  He already has.
Well I am headed off to bed because we have to be up early for hockey.  Oh yes, the lovely have.to.be.there.at.eight 1hr away, with hockey equipment on and ready to go hockey!  lol  The kids love it and it is great to watch them out there.
Goodnight all!

Oh my goodness!  I have so many pictures to share.  I will write now and the next time I post I will post some pictures.
So what has been happening in our lives?
We are still selling our house.  Because of the holidays it has kind of been put on hold.  We haven't had any calls and quite frankly we wouldn't have been ready!  Our Christmas decorations have been put away and we are just finishing up with tidying.  Hopefully we will get some calls now that the holidays are over.
Not much happening with the kids.  We have taken a break for the past couple of weeks.  Cohen is done his BOB books and on to Dr. Seuss now.  Proud little man.   We are reading The Bobbsey Twins books and enjoying that.  We are also reading Rudyard Kipling.  We found a quaint little rare book store and have started a collection of old, classic books.  I have definitely found a new passion!
The kids are all in hockey.  It is a program that kids can go and skate for free and are given all of the equipment as a loan.  We have to drive 45 min to get there for 8am!  And yet, we love it.  I love to see their little smiles behind their helmets.  The first week was a disaster!  From crying kids to not getting on the ice in time to skate (so much to put on them) and then the second week I got whacked in the head with a hockey stick when Amelie fell and my coffee went all over my head.  The third week we ended up in a dressing room with a bunch of 20 something's (guys) in their underwear.  And we STILL go.  Yes, we love our children.
Christmas was good.  No one got sick so that is great!  It was busy like every year and now is our time to relax together and regroup as a family.
Tonight is New Years Eve and I am going to spend that with my husband watching a movie.
I am so blessed.

Life isn't perfect...or is it?

Life happens whether we want it to or not.  Little legs will get stuck in table chairs.  Yogurt will get in the baby's hair.  Kids will get sick (so will parents!) and kids will argue. (Again, so will parents!)  Life doesn't fit into a neat little box.  If you want it to you will have to send your kids back.  Go win the lottery and live in the bahamas where the sun shines and the water is clear.  There are going to be sick days and ugh-I-don't-want-today-to-happen days.  We are human after all.  All of these challenges will help them grow.  They will see that mom isn't perfect and sometimes mom needs help.  They will see that if mom doesn't get enough sleep, there are consequences in the house.  They will see real life.  I have some friends right now who have newborns.  I see myself in them about 18 months ago.  I remember the OH MY GOODNESS!  My children are not learning anything!  Oh my goodness!  I am ruining my children.  Seriously self, take a break. The kids will learn what it is really like raising a newborn.  They will see the crying and the frustration. (From baby and mom)  They will see interruptions and not-doing.  They will see life.  I look at our life now and it is easy.  We don't have a newborn in the house any longer.  Even lazy days I see learning taking place.
For example, look at this slug.  We were outside and Ricky comes flying around to the front of the house with this giant slug.  Of course we head inside and look up this beauty.  It is called a leopard slug and are quite common in this area.  She found him/her under a big leaf.  The kids all got to touch and then set it free.  Little things like this happen all the time.  Sometimes it is ok to have days where kids are making salads, playing with toys, crocheting, playing video games, watching tv or reading books.  Sometimes it is ok to have days where we don't really feel like doing anything. (Lets face it-this is us parents.  My kids are ALWAYS willing to do anything!)  It is ok because it is life.  It is ok because we love them and care.  I have learned over the years to just relax and enjoy life with our family.

Poetry

Amelie and I were sitting on the porch yesterday and she says she is bored.  My children have never said they are bored.  So we chatted and I suggested poetry.  She wrinkled her nose but then listened.  I told her that in college I used to write poems and really enjoyed it.  She asked me to take out my book of poems and we read through a few.  She is off now on a poetry craze.  She has been writing poems and looking up different rules about poems.  Yes, she is my daughter who never stops.

I am going to share one of my poems that I wrote in college.  I may end up sharing others but I will choose the one.



Only two people on the sidewalk
an old homeless woman
carrying her wardrobe in a paper bag
and a couple of feet behind her walks a respectful man in his 30's.
He is walking a pace faster than she-
so in a short time he will catch up to her.
In one stride he passes her and continues to walk his pace.
Only a foot between them, with her raspy voice-
she calls out to the man.
He holds his breath and turns around expecting her to
ask for some spare change that she will only spend on booze.
After getting his attention she says...
You know, for a second there, it sure looked like we
were walking together, didn't it?


That Unfortunate Soul  (one more)

Wandering aimlessly through broken cities
he covers his unimportant being with sheaths of dirty wear
one eye intact, two ears to hear
frost bit, bug eaten hands
scurry to find the comfort of a satisfied stomach.
The warmth consisting only in his mind
where thoughts of dandelions and colorful jellybeans dance.
Memories are his company
Visions of uneaten bread and windows from the inside
Fire glowing, he laughs with the world
the being with a wisdom of his surroundings, a knowledge of people
Lies on a sidewalk with hope and content.

Slaying past his people, briefcase at hand
Outstanding, beautiful at the sight
Washed clean clothes
accepted by society
Successful at every challenge, every thought created
holding an importance given to him at birth
Stomach full, he laughs at the world
Deadlines holding him in their hands of entrapment
Hurrying through life, never quite there yet
His ignorant mind consisting only of wanted happiness
He screams from the inside, wanting a way out
cring into his unsuccessful hands, he wakes up to another dreadful day.

I used to love writing poetry.

Dancing to Mozart

Yes, we unschool.  I have started going to Charlotte Mason meetings for ideas.  A lot of people think that unschooling is completely letting your child lead and leaving them to their own devices.  This is not true.  Unschooling (or life learning if you want more of a positives spin) means something different to different people.  To us it means not doing any schooling that the kids don't enjoy.  This means that we search high and low to get information into our children.  We very rarely use a text book.  Really the only text book we have is for Math and like I said before, the kids ask to "play" math.  Geography and History are done through reading.  Science is nature and books.  We do the odd experiment too.  We do a tonne of reading from all kinds of books.  Since going to the meetings I have gotten ideas to try with them.  They now have some copy work.  This is quite fun actually.  I write out a sentence and they copy it.  Sometimes I write that they have the best mom ever.  Sometimes I can write that my daughter Ricky is amazing.  These little comments make them smile and this makes me smile. It is those moments that I love.  The creativity and the little bits of love I can throw into their day.  Charlotte Mason believes in studying music, art and living books.  I don't have the exact same philosophy but these women are such a wealth of knowledge and I do take their advice.  We have fun with it.  We look through art books and talk about the work.  We read really good books.  Here in these pictures we are dancing to Mozart.  I turned up a video on the computer and we danced around the kitchen.  We got some CD's from the library and play those while we read stories about Mozart.  I absolutely love how much we have fun with learning!  I am so thankful for the lives we lead.