Food

Seriously, what's the big deal?
Why is it so important for our children to finish everything on their plate?  It makes no sense to me.
Yesterday my daughter didn't want to finish her watermelon.  I told her that we would put it aside and if she wanted more it would be there.  I heard a comment that I let my children off the hook to easily.  What?  That's silly.  If I am eating and I begin to not enjoy what I am eating, I will give it over to someone else.  I don't not feel the need to finish.  Why do parents feel the need to control their children so much?  Will they grow up to not finish what is on their plate?  GASP!  Will they starve to death?  Please.  They need to finish what they start?  Why?  Because we as adults always do?  I have never made my children finish their food.  When they are done, they are done.  Not a big deal.  There are many more important things to worry about than if my daughter eats a few more bites of her watermelon.  Really, our children will not turn out to be non eating, filthy, non polite monsters if we don't control every little moment of their lives.  People amaze me.

They're getting older...no more veggies kids!!! :)

I am feeling very blessed.  Look at these amazing children!  The first few pictures are of a pond at our park.  Well it is really a field that flooded but whatever.  Thousands and thousands of toads were mating about a month ago and our kids found them.  To the excitement of the toads I am sure ;)  the kids had a blast.  Yes we came home with muddy clothes and slimy hands but oh what a wonderful time we had!  Amelie wanted a picture of herself kissing a toad and then make it seem like the toad turned into Cohen.  Then we have Ricky with a toad, Reagan holding out a toad to show us, Hadley being cute in a swing and Callum being a soccer star.  I haven't worked on pictures of Hadley and Callum in the pond so I put other pictures in.
When I look at my children and who they are becoming, I am so grateful for our decision to homeschool.  More and more I am noticing their differences and the benefits.  They are just really great kids.  I am their mom and moms say this, I know.  Thank God I listened to my heart and went against the naysayers and we raised our children the way they were meant to be raised.
Oh and YAY, I know how to upload pictures on this computer now.

Still here...

Hello all,
We are just figuring out how to put pictures onto our computer.  Yes, this is our life.  Things take a long time.  The important things get done.
The kids are in soccer again.  I can't wait to post pictures of it.  They are all doing so well and enjoying themselves.  Callum is the new soccer guy in the family.  He takes it quite seriously.  He is now sleeping through the night and staying dry.  People say that we will miss the diaper stage but I don't believe we will.  It has been 9.5 yrs in diapers for us and 8 yrs with 2 in diapers.  We are ready.  Hadley Jude is the last little peanut.
You worry and worry and worry that they won't potty train, that they won't sleep through the night, that they will be ruined by your frustrations.  You worry about what they eat and how they behave.  Will they read and know their letters?  How is their socialization?  I am not worried about how they socialize but I am more worried about how they will be perceived by other kids in a town that is schooled.  Lets face it, we are watched.  Kids in school do have a different way of being.  It isn't bad, just different.  They learn pretty quickly what is ok and what is not in the socialization circle of life.  It is not ok for another kid to come up and tell them what they are saying is wrong.  I taught Amelie this this month.  When kids are using inappropriate language they don't need to be told.  Yes I am happy that my child is not following suit but I also don't want her targeted.   I have taught her to just walk away and play with someone else.  I would much rather navigate through this than the alternative.  So I worry about that.  I have to remind myself that they all talk, walk, use the toilet, sleep through the night, lose the soother, are healthy and happy.  It all happens and they are great.  I need to focus on being grateful more than worry.  I have been telling myself this for 9 years.  Hopefully I will listen soon.

Let them be who they are

So the kids have started soccer.  It is always exciting in the beginning.  They get up early to put on their socks, shin pads, shirts and shoes.  Very early.  This has been much anticipated all year long.  Soon the june bugs will make their appearance and half of my children will be sitting in the grass playing with them.  The sun will get hotter and we will be steaming, sitting, anticipating when soccer will be finished.  I love to see my children grow.  Which brings me to my next post...growing and punishment.
When your children are in a sport, do you allow them to quit?  At what point would you allow this and why?  We have always given our children the option on quitting.  Gasp.  If they dislike a sport, they stop.  If they don't want to be dropped off somewhere, don't.  Ricky is a good example of this.  She played soccer when she was 4.  She didn't like it.  She has watched her siblings play for 4 years and has finally decided she wants to play.  She gets all dressed up and is excited to play.  Right in the beginning of the game she got hurt.  That was it.  She sat on my lap and cried about not wanting to play anymore.  Now a lot of parents would get upset and send them back out.  But to what cost?  Sure your child will play.  Big deal.  I had a talk with her about why she didn't want to play.  She said she thought she would like it now but doesn't.  It isn't only because she got hurt.  It is because she is shy.  She would prefer one on one interaction and we have always known that about her.  I am still proud of her for stepping outside of her comfort zone.  Guess what.  For years she has not wanted to go somewhere without Ron or I.  We always stay or she just comes with us.  Today she said she wanted to go to Sunday School and be down there on her own.  She did it!  She didn't need us.  Our little Ricky is growing up.  Sniffle.  Was it that hard to follow what she needed?  Was I worried about her being 20 and never letting us out of her sight?  No.  They grow up.  Way too fast actually.  So if your child is not feeling the independent thing...don't push it.  They will get there on their own time.  Let me tell you something about Ricky.  She is the sweetest, most giving child I know.  She has a huge heart and is always putting others before her.  She is observant and enjoys doing things on her own.  She is artistic in the way she dresses as well as her art.  She is shy and she is ours.  I love her exactly the way she is.  If I would have shoved her out onto the field or dropped her off without her consent, she wouldn't be who she is.  Now that is a sad thought.

Why worry?

My 3yo son wants to stay with mom or dad always.

My 3yo son still sometimes wears diapers and loves his soo soo. (Only allowed at bed)

My 7yo daughter still does not like to be away from mom or dad.

Do you know what I am getting at?

Do we as parents allow our children to have security blankets or do we demand that they grow up and have independence? This really is well thought out by most parents.

We have the parents that say they would never allow their child to sleep in their bed because they would want to all the time.

We have the parents who stop nursing at 6 months because they don't want their child to become too dependent on them.

Then we have those parents who allow their children to come into their own when they are meant to.

I have never left my child somewhere where they are uncomfortable with it. Not once. I just don't believe in it. Did you know that that was our deciding factor in homeschooling? I was told by the secretary to pry Amelie (at the age of 3) off of my leg, turn around and walk away. Obviously she didn't know who she was talking to. If she expects her own mother to treat her like that, what is stopping from them to treat her like that?

When did it become "them or us?"

We can still be there for our children AND be there for ourselves.

I have had various children sleep in our bed at different times. Guess what? Ron and I still had time on our own. Our children are evidence of that. I can guarantee that they will not be 15 and still crawling into our bed. One day this won't happen. Bitter sweet.

I used to worry when my older children still had a soo soo and they were considered too old. Will they ever give it up? I shouldn't have given so much time to worry. Yes, they do give it up and it is forgotten. I don't even remember Cohen or Reagan with a soother and it wasn't all that long ago. I have learned to let it go and let him have it at night. Again, I am pretty sure he won't still use it at 15.

He still has diapers about 60 percent of the time. Meh. Cohen used to hide in the curtains to poop in his diaper and he was almost 4. Did it hurt him? Nope. I hardly remember him in diapers and he has just turned 6. Why did I ever worry that he needed diapers at almost 4. For the record, he wasn't 15 when he got in underwear. Callum is still out for debate. I am not worried.

Why do we fret and worry and judge when in the grand scheme of things...it doesn't matter? Let them be. Let them be ready for what lies ahead. I wish I could go back and know that things like potty training, what they eat, using soo soo's, talking late, bathing every day...didn't matter! At each age their will be new hurtles to jump and we will do it just fine. On our own time.

Thunderstorms

So I am ready to post on this blog and I realize I can't upload the picture I took. We just got a new laptop and I don't know how to do it. So here is a post without a picture.

In this picture was my children. All 6 of them lined up on the couch watching American Idol. Yes, you read that right. I let them watch American Idol. Usually it is just Amelie and Ricky but it was all tonight. Let me share why.

Thunderstorms.

The wonderful, spring thunderstorms are here.

I had a very looooooong day. By long day I mean whining children, newly mudded carpets (I know, why do we have a carpet???), kids hitting, stepped in yogurt, peed through diaper and the list goes on. So by 7pm I am ready to ship them off to bed. On days like today.

I get them into bed and the thunder booms. Of course! It is designed this way. Right when you put the kids to bed but they aren't asleep yet....BOOM! This left 2 littles running out of their rooms in terror. I am tired and frustrated by this point. I raised my voice and sent them back off to bed. No, I am not perfect. I then threw Callum and Reagan in bed together. BOOM! They start screaming. I tried putting Cohen in with them. BOOM! Nope. Nothing was working. I then told them that they could come out until the storm passed. As much as I was ready for my break it felt pretty good to do the right thing. The right thing meaning it felt right. I saw all 6 lined up and it felt right. I smiled. Sometimes doing the hard thing turns out to be the easy thing. When the show was over they went happily to bed and are now sleeping. This leaves their mom feeling good instead of guilt. There are many more thunderstorms ahead. I hope I deal with them as graciously as I did tonight.

The "Sex" Talk

I don't get it. I don't get why it is so hard for parents to talk to their children about sex. First of all, I don't use the word sex while talking to them. I say Making Love. Isn't that what it should be? Sex just seems so physical minus the emotional side of it.
I think this is where parents go wrong. They are afraid. They are afraid of saying the wrong thing, giving their children ideas, of them growing up. They are afraid of "the talk."
I have heard countless questions on the subject from mom forums, magazines and Facebook. What is so hard about having a discussion with your children?
I just read a question..."Should I show my 8yo daughter a diagram of how her period will start?" Seriously? She is 8! Yes! While I probably wouldn't bring my child to the computer and show her a diagram I would most definitely share this knowledge with them.
Let me share with you how I taught my children about Making Love and all that fun stuff.
When Amelie and Ricky were around the age of 3 or 4 they asked how their baby sibling ended up in my belly. We are a Christian family so I first shared that God gave us that baby and thought we were the perfect fit. Mom and Dad love each other very much and we are married. Dad has something called sperm inside of him that God made. Mom has eggs from God that when they get the sperm inside of the egg turns into a baby. Isn't that amazing? It really is an amazing thing that God did. How could something from Dad go inside an egg inside of Mom? Obviously only God can do something like that! The next question was..."How does the sperm get to the egg?" Well because God made mom and dad fit together like puzzle pieces. Dads penis fits inside moms vagina and that is how it gets in there. They said "Oh" and that was it. They have always known and not made a big deal out of it. It really is that easy! Why so many books on the subject? Why so many programs and websites? Why does it have to be so hard?
Another one. Menstration. Half of the population gets it. Why would this be so difficult to discuss? I have explained to the girls what to watch for and what we do about it.
If we explain everything like it is a gift from God then we can't go wrong. We have periods so we can have babies! It is allowing us to carry a baby inside of us. A child of God.

One day I will have a discussion with my children about Love! Now there is a much harder discussion in my opinion. They need to be taught about feelings. Appropriate feelings. About the difference between love and lust. About appropriate behavior and what God wants for us.

The facts...easy. The in depth conversation about Love...eeeeek! That is a conversation that I don't want to mess up. I want them to fully understand how important it is to wait until marriage.
I haven't decided how exactly to have this talk. If it is going to involve Dad or if it will be me and the child alone. Of course throughout their life they have been taught this but I do what to have a good sit-down talk about it.
Many parents do not have this very important talk. Kids are left wondering. Kids are left asking their friends. Kids are left to discovering themselves. It is our job as parents to prepare our children for what is to come. We all know that our children will have hormones and they will have feelings. I plan to be aware of that and have open discussions with my children. What are you doing?