Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Where it all began

I would like to think that this all began when I became a parent.  When I took my blinders off and saw the world in a fresh new light.  In a parent light.  Where it all began.
This would be dishonest.
I would have to start back in my elementary school years. Back when all seemed innocent. When optimism and naivety were at their highest.
I remember my mom coming home beaming with pride stating that my teacher said that I was one of his top 3 students.  That shaped me.
I remember trying to remember facts about a test and crying because at the end of the night I was just too tired.  That shaped me.
I remember being a part of a small school with the same teachers for 8 years. That gave me comfort.  That shaped me.
I remember my male teacher being incredibly inappropriate with his female students for my last 2 years of elementary school  We helped put him in jail 20 years later.  That shaped me.
I then moved onto high school
This is when the effects of grade school came into view.
I realized that teachers try to fit in just as much as the students.
I realized that if the cool teacher liked you, so did everyone else. (Oddly reminded me of elementary school.)
I realized that most teachers weren't interested in who we were and why we acted the way we did.  It was something that had to be corrected with punishment instead of understanding and compassion.
I realized that I didn't fit in and I found somewhere that I did.

So I look back on my school years and the teachers that I had.  The good and the bad.  They shaped me.  I am who I am partly because of who they were.

I do have to respect that my past played a role in our decision to homeschool.

I wanted the privilege of being that person.  That person who watches them develop into who they are meant to be.  The person who teaches them morals and values by the way I live.  The person who gets to be the person.  The person who shapes them.

I look back on my past teachers, the good AND the bad and thank them.  They helped shape me which in turn are helping me shape the most important people in my life.
Stay tuned!  I am excited to start writing again.  Just updating my blog.