Wednesday, February 29, 2012

The "Sex" Talk

I don't get it. I don't get why it is so hard for parents to talk to their children about sex. First of all, I don't use the word sex while talking to them. I say Making Love. Isn't that what it should be? Sex just seems so physical minus the emotional side of it.
I think this is where parents go wrong. They are afraid. They are afraid of saying the wrong thing, giving their children ideas, of them growing up. They are afraid of "the talk."
I have heard countless questions on the subject from mom forums, magazines and Facebook. What is so hard about having a discussion with your children?
I just read a question..."Should I show my 8yo daughter a diagram of how her period will start?" Seriously? She is 8! Yes! While I probably wouldn't bring my child to the computer and show her a diagram I would most definitely share this knowledge with them.
Let me share with you how I taught my children about Making Love and all that fun stuff.
When Amelie and Ricky were around the age of 3 or 4 they asked how their baby sibling ended up in my belly. We are a Christian family so I first shared that God gave us that baby and thought we were the perfect fit. Mom and Dad love each other very much and we are married. Dad has something called sperm inside of him that God made. Mom has eggs from God that when they get the sperm inside of the egg turns into a baby. Isn't that amazing? It really is an amazing thing that God did. How could something from Dad go inside an egg inside of Mom? Obviously only God can do something like that! The next question was..."How does the sperm get to the egg?" Well because God made mom and dad fit together like puzzle pieces. Dads penis fits inside moms vagina and that is how it gets in there. They said "Oh" and that was it. They have always known and not made a big deal out of it. It really is that easy! Why so many books on the subject? Why so many programs and websites? Why does it have to be so hard?
Another one. Menstration. Half of the population gets it. Why would this be so difficult to discuss? I have explained to the girls what to watch for and what we do about it.
If we explain everything like it is a gift from God then we can't go wrong. We have periods so we can have babies! It is allowing us to carry a baby inside of us. A child of God.

One day I will have a discussion with my children about Love! Now there is a much harder discussion in my opinion. They need to be taught about feelings. Appropriate feelings. About the difference between love and lust. About appropriate behavior and what God wants for us.

The facts...easy. The in depth conversation about Love...eeeeek! That is a conversation that I don't want to mess up. I want them to fully understand how important it is to wait until marriage.
I haven't decided how exactly to have this talk. If it is going to involve Dad or if it will be me and the child alone. Of course throughout their life they have been taught this but I do what to have a good sit-down talk about it.
Many parents do not have this very important talk. Kids are left wondering. Kids are left asking their friends. Kids are left to discovering themselves. It is our job as parents to prepare our children for what is to come. We all know that our children will have hormones and they will have feelings. I plan to be aware of that and have open discussions with my children. What are you doing?

1 comment:

Eve said...

Hi, I found your blog on MDC. I totally agree with your post on talking to our kids about creating life and normal life cycles. Why is it so hard for so many other parents? I don't know.

Coming from a Christian perspective myself, I really liked how you approached the conversation. I find coming from this perspective in our family gives us the confidence and direction as far as how to approach the topic with children.

My big boys (ages 7 and 9) have started to ask more questions. You know what? I just answer them as they arise, simply and to the point, in a way they can understand. As long as we are open and talking, all the necessary conversations they need to have will happen, when they need to happen.