Saturday, March 17, 2012

Why worry?

My 3yo son wants to stay with mom or dad always.
My 3yo son still sometimes wears diapers and loves his soo soo. (Only allowed at bed)
My 7yo daughter still does not like to be away from mom or dad.

Do you know what I am getting at?

Do we as parents allow our children to have security blankets or do we demand that they grow up and have independence? This really is well thought out by most parents.

We have the parents that say they would never allow their child to sleep in their bed because they would want to all the time.

We have the parents who stop nursing at 6 months because they don't want their child to become too dependent on them.

Then we have those parents who allow their children to come into their own when they are meant to.

I have never left my child somewhere where they are uncomfortable with it. Not once. I just don't believe in it. Did you know that that was our deciding factor in homeschooling? I was told by the secretary to pry Amelie (at the age of 3) off of my leg, turn around and walk away. Obviously she didn't know who she was talking to. If she expects her own mother to treat her like that, what is stopping from them to treat her like that?

When did it become "them or us?"

We can still be there for our children AND be there for ourselves.

I have had various children sleep in our bed at different times. Guess what? Ron and I still had time on our own. Our children are evidence of that. I can guarantee that they will not be 15 and still crawling into our bed. One day this won't happen. Bitter sweet.

I used to worry when my older children still had a soo soo and they were considered too old. Will they ever give it up? I shouldn't have given so much time to worry. Yes, they do give it up and it is forgotten. I don't even remember Cohen or Reagan with a soother and it wasn't all that long ago. I have learned to let it go and let him have it at night. Again, I am pretty sure he won't still use it at 15.

He still has diapers about 60 percent of the time. Meh. Cohen used to hide in the curtains to poop in his diaper and he was almost 4. Did it hurt him? Nope. I hardly remember him in diapers and he has just turned 6. Why did I ever worry that he needed diapers at almost 4. For the record, he wasn't 15 when he got in underwear. Callum is still out for debate. I am not worried.

Why do we fret and worry and judge when in the grand scheme of doesn't matter? Let them be. Let them be ready for what lies ahead. I wish I could go back and know that things like potty training, what they eat, using soo soo's, talking late, bathing every day...didn't matter! At each age their will be new hurtles to jump and we will do it just fine. On our own time.

1 comment:

Nicole said...

I love this post! We too felt like this (and still do) even though our bunch is a few years ahead of yours. I remember those soo-soo years, and diaper "training" and co-sleeping. They do grow up so fast - and it is bittersweet.