'Raw' from an unschooling ma

I bet you guys think I am an awesome mom. That I have the laundry finished and never yell at my children. I am sorry to disappoint you but that is not the case.
I was reading a blog the other day and she had shared some 'rawness' in her post. I thought about how I never share that side of me with anyone but my closest family and friends. I like to portray myself as the perfect parent while our days are not perfect.
When people read this I would like it to help them. I am human. You are human. We all have our secret little moments that we keep to ourselves. I am going to share a bit about me and how I feel. The Raw side of me.
I am a guilt parent. I read so many books about how to be the best parent I can be. I don't read the mainstream ones but the gentle parenting books. I love to read. The negative side of that is guilt. My guilt to not live up to the perfection I want. I yell. Sometimes for a whole hour I am in a foul mood and say mean things. Things like..."Only babies poop in their underwear!" That was my doozy today. :( When I get frustrated I have a hard time guarding what I say. Sure I have a sit down afterward with said child but it still makes me feel like a horrible parent and that I am damaging who they are. My worst comment came a few years ago when I hurt Ricky somehow. I don't remember what happened. Like I picked her up too roughly or something like that. She said, "You hurt me!" I then said back, "I'm glad I hurt you." Isn't that the worst? Of course instantly I apologize and sometimes have a few tears. It doesn't make it right though.
Sometimes I will sit for hours and read a book! If it is a good one I can totally tune my children out and read. I take care of them but the house falls apart. They may ask for something and get the response..."When this page is done." I have always wanted my children to know how important they are but sometimes I think I fail that by my actions.
I "cook" chicken nuggets and perogies at least once a week. Sandwiches maybe twice a week. I am not a home cooked meal kinda gal. I do want that though. I want to be that mom who has dinner cooking all day and placed on the table with the family all sitting together. Last wk I went for a bath and a book while my family ate. I needed a break when Ron woke up. I did order a good vegetarian slow cooker book that I am looking forward to. I see many more home cooked meals on the horizon.
I have doubts on occasion about unschooling. I don't doubt the philosophy. I doubt my laziness as a parent. Some days there isn't anything fun that we have done together. Doing art together, reading, singing... We are working on this. But I always seem so sure of myself and my parenting but I am not. I have doubts like the best of them.
On the flip side, I am always there for my children. I will never put them in a situation that they are not comfortable with. I am their rock. I cuddle/hug/kiss them endlessly and they know how much they are loved. I am very open with my feelings and they are open with theirs. We are a very close and attached family. I feed them nutritiously and teach them about God.
I know that my children are wonderful and beautiful children. They are amazing. I just need to start seeing that in myself more.
So there it is. Raw from an unschooling ma.

When to let go

We were given three Monarch caterpillars at a homeschool meeting. You wouldn't think caterpillars are so picky with which food they eat but they are. Monarch's eat milkweed.
We were lucky enough to go through the process of caterpillar to butterfly. In the first picture, you can see one green cocoon and two caterpillars hanging upside down just about to turn. The green then turns to black and shortly after the butterflies emerge. How wonderfully beautiful. Through this process I witnessed a strong resemblance to raising my own children. You take care of them and then set them free. That is the short version of it. If you are me, you go more in depth with that thought.
I find that society is very quick to rush their little children to independence. The 1st's are celebrated with great enthusiasm. Moms hands hold baby Ruth's tiny hands as she guides her steps. A cheer erupts at a 1st tooth emerging. Baby sleeps through the night and mom gets awed "lucky you's" from friends and family. When I had Amelie and Ricky I was right in with the crowd. I was that mom rushing my babies to grow. Proud when they spoke their first word and calling Ron at work when they laughed for the first time. Sure memories are to be had there but what was I really celebrating? With my youngest children I allowed them to follow their own rhythm. I let them walk when they were ready and let Cohen decide when he was ready to use the toilet. It seems parents are in such a hurry to get them potty trained and sleeping through the night. This comes with Crying It Out Methods or Baby Sleep Training methods. This comes with accidents in pants and frustrated parents. (And maybe a few poops on the floor. Who can forget that?) Part of Unschooling is trusting in your children to know what they "need" to learn at any given time. It doesn't stop there. They eat when they are hungry (no waiting for dinner here!), they play when they want and sleep as long as they want. I allow their independence in a different way. I don't rush them into life but allow them to live their life. Too soon our children will be headed out the door into the big, wide world and we will be thinking...where did the time go?
I notice that I am very On with my children. Some may say I am overprotective or overbearing. I am THAT parent who is always there allowing my children to come to me if they need. I am at arms reach when my two year old is climbing high on the monkey bars. I am at ears reach when my daughter comes running into my arms in tears because her friends are being mean. I am there. I am their mom and there is no where else I would rather be. Literally. Am I hindering their independence? Am I stunting their growth? Phooey! I am their rock. I am their net when they fall...and they will fall. I am safe. I am mom.
I let go when my child is the only one in the sandbox, munching away. I let go when my child makes up a song about bums. I let go when my children drink rootbeer floats for dinner.
I am not in a rush to see them grow up and go. Why not allow our children the independence they crave (food, sleep...) and stop trying to shove their independence at them so they will grow up faster? I know I am in no hurry to let go.

Is Imagination a thing of the past?

Some cardboard pieces Ron brought home from work.

The kids playing with the blocks TOGETHER.

A noodle box Cohen was using as a garage for his cars.

Cohen emerging out of a cocoon as a butterfly.

In my teenage years I remember having a discussion about imagination and how times have changed. I still think and reflect on that conversation. When I was young I was outside climbing trees, catching frogs, making forts and making mud pies. (Yes I was a tomboy) I am not going to get into why our children are not going outside like we used to. (maybe another post) I am going to talk about WHAT we played with. I don't recall using plastic guns that have a million sounds built into them. I don't recall legos that had the design planned for you on the box and the exact amount of pieces. I don't recall plastic kitchens with miniature food. What I do recall is running around the house with sticks for guns and making the sounds, building with legos WHATEVER I wanted to make and grabbing blankets to make picnics with real food. Sure I had skip-its and those toys that you stood on and bounced, slinkies and skipping ropes. I am not completely against plastic toys at all. I don't sit at birthday parties brooding and picturing landfills overflowed with this long forgotten garbage. I do however picture the children's imagination seeping out of them. When we have toys that make every sound, light up in every different color and jump when you say jump, it takes that away from the child. In our house we have two toy boxes. One for toys and one for cars/trucks, tracks (basically Cohen's toy box) My children much rather a large cardboard box or some paper and new crayons. My child's imagination is much more important to me than a surprised look on a holiday. What would we do with a world full of people using their imaginations?

Recently I received a "Blog with Substance" award from Leslie. My it felt good to be recognized! Since, I have been collecting 10 blogs that I can pass this on to. Here are the rules...

•Thank the blogger who awarded it to you.
•Sum up your blogging philosophy, motivation, and experience using ten (10) words.
•Pass it on to 10 other blogs which you feel have real substance.

I tend to over think things so that ten word philosophy may take me a while. ;)

And guess what! I won 3 wonderful books!!! Check out Leslie's blog and you will see! I don't win things very often so when I do it is very exciting!!!
THANK YOU Leslie for making my day. :)

I lost our 4yo son today. Time inched by as I searched for him.
We went to homeschool park day so we had plenty of friends around. I started to watch for him on the equipment and noticed he wasn't there. It is a large play area. I wasn't worried for the first minute because there is a smaller park area next to the large one. I went there and he wasn't there. I went to the large pavilion picking up speed. There was a daycare eating lunch there. Cohen could have easily slipped in there and started eating someones lunch. Not there. There is a fenced in swimming pool that I looked over :( and then alerted my friends that he was missing. This is when I started crying. It had been at least 8 minutes. I started yelling his name and moving quick. He isn't fully aware to not run in traffic and the pool was right there. Did someone take him? Is he crying alone for me? I had to push those thoughts from my mind and keep searching. All this time I have no idea if someone else is watching my other children (I was guessing they were) because my mind was solely on finding my little boy. I remember crying and saying I can't find him. Then another mom I didn't know said he was in the girls washroom. She said he was telling her his life story as he went poop. That sounded like my Cohen. I rushed in and there he was pooping away without a worry. You know how parents get mad at their children for taking off? That didn't even cross my mind. The only thing I wanted to do was scoop him up in my arms and kiss him and hug him and be as close to him as possible and never let go. I did have to wait for him to finish because he takes FOREVER but I got my chance. This was a reminder for me to not stress about the insignificant things in life. AND to hug them more than I already do.

A day in the life of us

When I was considering unschooling I wanted an idea of what our days would be like. It took a lot of research before I became comfortable with this lifestyle. From time to time I panic. Cohen doesn't know all of his letters! Ricky isn't reading fluently yet! Look at what THAT family is doing! On occasion, the doubts sneak in on me. One day I decided to watch my children closely and see what they are learning throughout the day. I was shocked at how much they learned while playing and following their own interests.
Yesterday I decided to take pictures of our natural day. I say natural because I didn't coerce activity just for a picture for the blog. I went about my day and grabbed the camera when I chose. This is our everyday life.
I challenge you. All of you unschooling bloggers. Put a camera in hand for the day and capture your everyday moments. You will be surprised at how much your children are doing! Or maybe you have already come to this conclusion. When you record your day, please let me know so I can read about your daily life caught on camera. :)



This is at about 8am. When my eyes are only slightly open, my children are rolling themselves up in blankets. I wouldn't mind a bit of TV time at this moment because it takes me a while to wake up. I do enjoy their laughter with coffee in the morning though!


Here is breakfast. Apples with granola. Ok ok, granola bars. ;) Did you know one of my pet peeves is sugar cereal? I can't stand it! Really, what is the point of it? I like to start their day with something nutritious.


Reagan, Cohen and Callum are playing on the windowsill with cars. It looks nice and sweet here but all.morning.long Callum and Cohen fought over the big transport truck. Still waiting for them to notice the TV ;)


Amelie is looking for a snack in the fridge (SHE JUST HAD BREAKFAST!! lol) and found and onion sprouting. She just HAD to put it in water to see if it will grow more. I can't wait for the lovely aroma this experiment will bring!


Cohen noticed two paper towel rolls and uses them as binoculars. He realizes it doesn't make objects closer like the ones camping did. This didn't last long. They ended up being used as a megaphone by Ricky.


Ricky got this awesome fashion dummy from my mom. You have a bunch of different squares of fabric and place it around the dummy. Ricky has formed many a cute outfit. Here, Reagan is trying her hand at fashion.


I look over and see Ricky, Cohen and Reagan piled on the couch reading. Ricky is improvising with a French book.

Callum is oblivious while he plays with his bus.


Amelie is writing a song to perform for her family. I wish I had a video camera for the song. :( She is so serious while performing.


Reagan decides to perform her own song up on the windowsill while we all smile and give praise.


The kids can't resist a moment like this! They all jump up on the windowsill and sing "I love you" while they rock back and forth. Yup, the best moment of my day!


And the day ends with the kids in costume. Did they sleep like this? Maybe. ;)

A Valedictorian Speech - WOW

http://www.sott.net/articles/show/212383-V...aduation-Speech