Introductions

Since I will be writing about our homeschooling journey, I thought it was important to give a glimpse into who we are.  I can't put into words all of the quirks, personalities and silliness that our family is but here is a peek.  I will start with Amelie.

Amelie is our first born.  I could just stop there and a lot of you would know what is coming next.

She is very independent and always has been.  She is bossy (erm...good leadership?), motivated, kind, figuring out who she is at the moment (aren't we all), passionate and well...Amelie.

She absolutely loves dogs.  If she could be surrounded by dogs daily she would be a happy, young lady.  For about 2 years she has wanted to open up a shelter. (Not going to happen here!  I am a kid lover, not a dog lover)  Since she is so independent we decided to get her a dog.  She doesn't disappoint.  She very willingly takes care of all of the responsibilities with her dog.  Now I just have to figure out how to get her to be that way with chores!  She has volunteered at a dog shelter and still says that that is what she wants to do.  (Aside from being an Olympic runner)

I feel a strong connection with her.  We talk a lot and have a mutual respect for each other.  She loves to read.  Something with substance and then discuss the book with me after.  

For school, she is mostly independent.  She is usually teaching me her math so her dad helps her with stuff she doesn't understand.  We are starting to think about high school (oh boy) and she really wants a high school diploma so we will find our way through that.  My ideal is doing up good transcripts and teach with good literature instead of text books but I feel she is old enough to decide her path.  We will make it happen.  

It has been nice having Amelie as our do-everything-first child.  She is strong academically so it takes the pressure off of us.  We now know that it is personality and not failure as teachers but it still nice to have a non-worry child first.

I wish I could say that she is amazing with her siblings but she isn't.  She takes charge when she shouldn't and gets frustrated.  Our second born excels there but you'll learn about her next.

So here are a few pictures of our young lady who is growing way too fast for my liking.  I am enjoying watching her grow.

I added the picture of Ron (dad) brushing her hair because it was a precious moment that she allowed someone to do something for her.  Did I mention she is independent?

Not all peachy

Sometimes don't you feel like it isn't all ok?  The dishes piled in the sink.  A broken jar craft fallen in a million pieces that is sure to find its way into my child's foot.  Arguing children and the I NEED A BREAK thoughts.  And this is summer!  We barely have any school stuff going on!
Life goes on.
We will have moments where the kids do something kind.  When they pick up without being asked.  When they come and hug you and say I love you or even just the hug.  We will have a lot of these moments.
This is our life.
Today folks, is the former.  I cannot wait to get out and go shopping.  Time by myself.
You know what guilt feelings I get?  When I say no to one of my children or when I choose not to do something with them or go shopping and feel excited about getting away, I worry that I will lose one of them and always regret that no.  That I didn't spend every moment I could with them.  That I didn't pick flowers more, study insects, run, play, play sports and just see the wonder of the world enough.  I don't think I am a fun mom.  I cuddle.  I read.  I talk.  I enjoy.  I am not fun.  I don't do those things very often.  What if I die?  What if I am gone and they remember that I wasn't fun?
Having a moving mind like mine can sometimes be exhausting!  The guilt-mom feelings.
I don't let this rule me though.  I let these thoughts enter and try for a day to be fun.  What if I don't think it is fun?  Is it more important to be fun or thought of as fun?
So I continue to read, hug and have wonderful, connecting talks with my children because that is who I am.  I need to embrace that instead of hanging onto guilt about who I am not.
Now, I am going to go shopping.  Guilt free shopping.  Then I will head home tonight and kiss all of my beautiful children and tell them how much I love them.

It starts with a clean home

Life gets busy.  Life gets very busy.
Appointments, play dates, activities, appointments...well, you know.
Life can't stop but it can slow down.
This has been on my mind lately because we have been very busy.  I thought summer was going to be lazy, lay out in the sun at the beach with children playing happily in the sand.  Isn't that we all dream of when summer is on the horizon?  No school books or complaining or rushing rushing rushing.  Summer has not been lazy for us.  Amelie is volunteering at an animal shelter.  She also has horse riding lessons.  They have swimming lessons.  We are volunteer drivers.  We have appointments.  Lots of them it seems.
When we get home from this busyness I am carrying a million things from our van (kids included)  I am tired from buckling, whining, counting kids, asking kids to behave, gathering and just being a busy mom in public. (Shudder)  I get home, open my door and BAM!  Game pieces everywhere, dishes with half eaten food, dirty socks, thrown toys, clothes and who knows what else is on every conceivable surface.  My mind screams because I know what this night will involve.  My thoughts of curling up to my book with a glass of wine are shattered.  It now involves doing a million other things that I didn't get to during the day.
This is how I know we have been too busy.
When our house is messy so is my mind.  I become irritable and I have no calm.  A simple question like "What time are we going to swimming?" throws me into frustration and I snap "Does it look like I am half ready????  Sure!  Let me just drop this pile of junk and leave the messy dishes so we can frolic out to the van!  Pardon me while I prevent an ant infestation and pick up this tripping hazard that is bound to give us trip to the hospital for stitches!  I have time!"  My poor children. lol
That is why I need my house to be somewhat tidy and organized.  It makes me a better mom.  It makes me a better wife.
Today we had a fun morning out.  We went kayaking at the lake with my mom.  It was busy but fun.  I knew what I was coming home to.  There is such a thing as too much fun.  We need a balance.
We came home today and got stuff done.  My two older girls cleaned out the van.  We all chipped in and I got the laundry finished.  The house looks good.  And I sigh a sigh of relief.  Sweet relief.
I can breathe again.  I can think again. I can sit on the couch with my good book with a glass of wine.
I can look around my home and feel accomplished.
Here is a little peek into my house cleaning routine.  It just may spark some new ideas for you.
I sell Norwex so I use all of these products and let me tell you...they work beautifully.
Monday - Bathrooms, windows and all glass in house.
Tuesday - Floors
Wednesday - Kitchen  (Wipe down fridge and 2 cupboards emptied)
Thursday - catch up (If I missed a day)
Friday - Bedrooms (the kids do their own)
Sat and Sun - I try to do the vehicles but it never gets done!  That is our goal though.

This routine helps me to stay on track.  Especially when school starts up again.  I couldn't imagine my house exploded and trying to teach!  It has happened but it doesn't go well.  The cleaner the house, the happier the mom.  And that is true with me.

So not an uplifting post.  Just me still figuring things out and trying to do my best.  Aren't we all.

A Moment in Time

Feelings pass.  Feelings change.
What seems huge today will forgotten a week from now.
I have times (today) when I am driving and the kids are arguing.  She hit me!  Tell Cohen to get his feet off the back of my seat!  Moooooooooom!   Are we almost home?  I'm thirsty!
Times like today that make me want to yell at them to just stop.  Stop with this insignificant fighting. Just be perfect little siblings who care about one another and look out the window thoughtfully.
This rarely happens.
Most times I can turn up the radio and roll down my window.  Sometimes I may even sing loudly and obnoxiously so I don't have to hear them.  Picture me, with my 12 passenger van, loaded with children and belting out Bohemian Rhapsody!  Yes, it has been done!
I get to moments where I feel like I am at my breaking point.  So much is expected of me.  So much. A wife, a mom, a teacher, the secretary, the maid, the cook and on and on she goes.  Most days I handle this with ease but oh so much is expected.  Sometimes I think WHAT ABOUT ME????
So anyway, I have days where I want to crawl under my covers and go back to the no responsibility me.  Sleep in.  Listen to the birds chirp.  Lazily make some breakfast and actually speak to my husband.  Just be me.
But then I am laying with my beautiful 4 year old and she smiles and says, "I love my life."  My whole crazy-can't-take-one-more-minute day comes crashing down and I melt into love and giggles and wonder and gratefulness and oh so much love pouring out of me.  And I lean into her perfect little face and say, "I love my life too, sweet girl."  I love my life too.